Something You May Not Know About Me

 In the "Things You May Not Know About Me" category, I am legally blind. I have worn glasses since before I can remember and have worn contacts for the past 35+ years. With correction, my vision is near 20/20, but without contacts my vision in my bad eye is below 20/200 which is (was?) the definition of legal blindness. As I've never known what it's like to have normal vision, and as I can have near normal vision with contacts, I don't think too much about it too often. First thing I do upon waking is put my contacts in and the last thing I do before going to bed is take them out, so the amount of time I actually have to deal with my 20/200 vision is extremely small.  It's just a non-issue in my life as long as I have my contacts in, which I always do. 

Last week, I developed a case of pink eye. (Funny side bar:  the p and the o key are right next to each other, and if you're not careful, you'll develop a case of oink eye. And since oink is a word, spell check won't catch it. I'm still giggling over oink eye!). As I've worn contacts for the past 35+ years, I do not have a pair of glasses.  I've also not had oink eye *giggle* since I was a child myself so I didn't have a back up plan. I ended up spending three days virtually housebound because I couldn't wear my contacts and the idea of going out in the world, visually impaired, scared me to death. Not that I'd have driven (heavens no!), but I was afraid to go to the store or out to eat with my husband as chauffeur and guide.  We finally did go to the grocery store and it was horrible.  It was "my" grocery store, where I shop all the time. I know the store, the aisles, where the groceries are located -- it was a very familiar environment and I was with my husband, who is the safest person in the entire world. I was 100% safe but I was so uncomfortable and so nervous that I ended up clutching the handle of the shopping cart while my husband got the Cheerios off the shelf and put them in the basket. Then he would pull the basket while I trailed beind, hanging on to the handle like it was a life preserver. 

I was so grateful when the 72 hours of contagion ended and I could put my contacts back in again. That was a really scary three days. There was one surprising thing about all of it:  being a woman of a certain age (insert eye roll here @@), I have to wear reading glasses to see things close up. I did learn that when I don't have my contacts in, I can read just fine (as long as what I'm reading is literally inches from nose).  But the convenience of not needing reading glasses was far, far overshadowed by the inability to navigate the aisles of HEB, so it was a minor blessing. 

I am now back to wearing my contacts (and reading glasses) and I am being nagged to make an appointment to get glasses "just in case". I also feel like there is some major, deep theological life-lesson that someone else might be able to pull out of this situation. I have a suspicion that another person would be able to wrap this up with a "and that's what it's like to be spiritually blind and then have your spiritual blindness removed" analogy, but I can't. All I know is that was a scary three days. Part of it was my own fault for not having had a pair of emergency glasses but regardless I did not like that feeling of utter helplessness. Again, that seems to cry out for a theological tie-in, but all I can think of was how frustrating it was to not be able to see -- I had a headache and I had to pull each bottle out of the medicine cabinet, hold it right up to my nose, squint, and then say, "Honey?  Does this say Motrin?"  I saw things on the floor and had no idea if it was a black sock, a dog hair ball or a *shudder* critter. It was three days of moments like that. 

I am very happy to be back in contacts. I don't even mind having to put on reading glasses - alto reaching into the freezer to take something out for dinner without the reading glasses is fun:  "I think this says ground beef ... Lets thaw it out and be surprised!" I never realized just how dependent I was on my contacts, or how severe and limiting my near-blindness was or how crippling fear can be. I was actually afraid to leave the house. 

On the other hand, tho, three days of near-blindness makes you think the house is cleaner than it is. You don't see how the bathroom needs to be cleaned and the dust on the end tables suddenly disappears.  :) Still, all in all, I'll take being able to drive and being able to leave my house.

Now to call the eye doctor and get an appointment for a post-oink eye exam *giggle* and get a pair of "just in case" glasses.