An Eye For Beauty Part 2

So I've started walking again.  I've been pretty good this past week

It's a start, anyway. This week, I walked Monday (and wrote An Eye For Beauty) based on that. I was going to walk yesterday but decided instead to unstop a clogged toilet (eww) and then mop the floor and then wash some nasty towels. By the time that was all done, I just had enough time to get out the door as I had somewhere to be. Got in the car, and the Check Engine light inexplicably came on. And went off. And came back on. And went back off. Repeatedly. Got home, washed another load of clothes and realized, too late, that there was an ink pen left in the pocket of a pair of shorts. Beige shirts do not like being washed with blue pens. It was not a good day.  Then I got involved in a situation that a loved one was having -- and being me, I just wanted to jump in with both feet and fix it and make it all better. That wasn't what I was being asked to do, but it's what I wanted to do. 

Numerous phone calls and text messages later, I think they felt somewhat better but I was still feeling unsettled, because I wanted to "fix" things. 

In the midst of this, poor husband came home and said, "Hi, sweetie. How was your day?"  20 minutes later, I was still going off.  "And then, the toilet overflowed.  And THEN ... and THEN ... and THEN ..."  I was also fixing dinner, so my ranting and raving was accompanied by the occasional slam of a pot, just because I was that frustrated. 

This morning I went for my walk.  I wasn't in a happy place, but I figured I had two miles to fuss at God and complain. And I did. What my poor husband heard the night before, God heard this morning.  And THEN ... and THEN ... and THEN ..."  After I finished ranting and raving, I took a few minutes to be silent. I wrote the other day about Parrot Woman, and as I was finishing up yelling at God, I saw Parrot Woman approaching me. Today, Parrot was on top of her head!  As she passed me, I thought, "Oh,  I should get her picture!" but by the time I got my phone out, she was pretty far past me.

That's her, in red, with the cute collie. I did try to blow it up, but ...

Take my word for it, she had a parrot on her head!!

Anyway, I kept walking and suddenly it dawned on me that I had done to my husband exactly what Loved One had done to me:  vented and raged about a situation, not looking for an answer or someone to solve the problem, but just be a sounding board and a safe place to unload. I didn't want my husband to solve my problems, just listen. And that's what Loved One wanted from me.

Ah, ok, got it.  But God wasn't done teaching me a lesson.  He then made me realize that my job isn't to solve everyone's problems. My job is to equip them to solve their own problems.  

But, but, but ... God, I'm much better at solving their problems. I can make a few phone calls and have this all taken care of. I don't want to equip, and then stand back. I don't do that well.

But God was pretty insistent that my role in this situation is over. I was to listen, to encourage, to advise, to reassure -- but no more. And as I did that yesterday, today I need to let it go.

Easier said than done, but that's what I've tried to do. I did text Loved One, but we talked about other stuff (namely the iOS 7 update) and when I offhandedly and casual said, "and what about (situation), did that get taken care of?", the response was about iOS 7.  Message received.  I've not asked again. 

So while I didn't find any breathtaking sunrises this morning, nor did I see any photo-worthy birds in flight or perfectly formed, dewy flower buds, I *did* see a lady with a parrot on her head. And I had a conversation with God that did give me comfort. I guess beauty is found in different things for different people.

But I wouldn't mind a beautiful sunrise.