It’s early Monday morning.
Aside from the sound of the dog snoring, my house is completely
quiet. Husband is at work, Daughter is
in her college apartment, Son is in Africa … it’s just me and Killer McSavage
and her snoring.
Killer hates to have her picture taken (I once surprised her
with the flash, so now every time I point the camera at her, she turns
away). I took that picture, and she
sighed … and rolled over. Didn’t get up
off the couch, just put her back to me.
She’s not one for wasting energy.
LOL!
My son has been out
of my house for three years and my daughter has been out of the house for a
year. You’d think I’d be more used to a
quiet, empty house. I don’t know why it
still seems so strange to me but a part of me still expects to hear a sleepy
toddler call out, “Mommy?”
I still want to have that First Day of School experience; I
texted GirlChild last night and said, “What time is your first class? What time are you going to wake up? Are you taking the shuttle to campus?” and
her response was “9:05. 8:00. Yes.” I guess she has this First Day of School down
pat and she doesn’t need a hovering Mom … but I still want to pack her lunch,
check her backpack, give her a First Day of School kiss …
And don’t even get me started on the BoyChild. He is in Africa. AFRICA.
I can’t even text him or Facetime or email him, like I can her. With him, we get to Skype maybe once a week,
if I’m lucky. It’s probably a good thing
I’m not near him; it’s one thing to want to check the GirlChild’s backpack and
make sure she has pencils and notebook paper, but what am I supposed to do for
the BoyChild? Check his body armor and
make sure his weapons are loaded? No,
that’s OK. With him, I sort of have to
pretend he’s just at Boy Scout Camp or something … if I actually stop and think
about the fact he’s in a combat zone, it tends to freak me out. So he’s at Boy Scout Camp. Sometimes, denial isn’t a bad thing.
I am grateful for my church; I get the honor of going up
there a few mornings a week and loving on the babies. I get to snuggle the newborns for a couple of
hours while their moms are in Bible Study.
I can easily remember when mine were younger and I had the opportunity
to attend a New Mom’s Bible Study. I was
SO grateful for the chance to leave my babies in a safe, loving place while I
had some much needed “me” time. I see in
some of the moms, that same look of relief.
I’ve been told they feel comfortable leaving their babies with an experienced
mom like me (“experienced” = “old”) and I’ve had at least one mom tell me that
she appreciated having a Grandma taking care of her baby. *sigh* (Not yet a Grandma, but if God saw fit
to bless me with a grandbaby, I’d not hate it!!)
I guess this is part of that whole Circle Of Life thing … I
was once the New Mom, anxious for some me- time and grateful for the people who
opened their arms and hearts to my children and now I am the “experienced mom”
(LOL!) who finds herself with too much me-time on my hands and is grateful for
the opportunity to love on someone else’s babies.
I want, so much, to have my own children physically close to
me. I am delighted they are responsible,
independent, functional adults. I am
pleased and blessed to have children who have successfully left the nest and
who are making their own way in this world.
I do, however, miss getting to see them on a regular basis and I miss
being able to give them a hug and a kiss.
I struggle with the urge to over-parent (is that a word? If not, it should be!) and I still want to
text GirlChild and remind her to pack a lunch.
I want, so much, to tell my son to be safe, be careful, not take risks. (But then again, he’s just at Boy Scout Camp,
and that’s not dangerous, right?)
I see on Facebook everyone posting pictures of their
children on the First Day of School, and it makes me a little bit sad. I won’t see my GirlBaby on her first day of
school … although she did text me a picture of her English textbook LOL!
And there is no First Day of School at Boy Scout Camp … but I
wouldn’t mind to give him a hug and a kiss anyway.
So, right now, it’s just Shadow and me. Tomorrow, I’ll go snuggle babies at church
but for today, I’m going to listen to the dog snore, wait for GirlChild to text
me when her classes are over and I’ll pray that BoyChild gets a chance to Skype
… from Boy Scout Camp … and I’m going to start planning some EOFO outings for
Husband and me to undertake. Now that
the weather, in theory, is going to cool off we can start our daytrips. We can even take overnight trips since we don’t
have children at home to worry about.
There are some positive things about having an Empty Nest; I am going to
focus on those today. I am going to vicariously
enjoy everyone else sending their babies off to school and I am going to love
on babies tomorrow. Today, I am going to
savor the quiet and solace of my house and I am going to decide what adventure
we will undertake on our next EOFO weekend.
((((((((((Sandra))))))))))
ReplyDelete