The nature of my husband’s work means that, periodically, he
has to travel. When the children were
younger, he had a time where he was spending three weeks in London, one week at
home. He did that for months. Because the kids were so young (and also
because we were so broke), I wasn’t able to go with him, much to my disappointment. Those were some long, lonely trips … the kids
and I missed him something fierce and he – well, yeah, he missed us, of course,
but he was spending his weekends playing tourist ... international travel is
hard, but if you ask me (the stay-home spouse) it’s easier on the traveler than
it is on the “stay home with two toddlers” spouse.
But my perspective may be skewed.
There was one trip he was in San Francisco. I had spent the day cleaning up baby vomit,
and dealing with 2 year old tantrums; I hadn’t showered in days and if I
recall, dinner that night was a gourmet feast of scrambled eggs. (“But I don’t like scrambled eggs, Mommy.” “Tough.
Eat them anyway.”) He called me
that evening to say he was sitting on the balcony of his hotel, watching the
sun set over San Francisco Bay, while the turn-down maid was folding down his
linens and laying a chocolate gently on his pillow. I found it hard, that
evening, to be sympathetic to the woes of the business traveler.
But travel is difficult.
Hotel rooms aren’t home, and frequently the extent of sight-seeing is
the airport and the conference room of opposing counsel’s office. Restaurant meals get tedious when eaten three
times a day, and planes and airport travel is never fun.
He came home from work yesterday and said the I-Wasn’t-Paying-That-Much-Attention
Case had exploded and he had to go to Birmingham. For three weeks. The flight was the next day, at 9:00
a.m.
Not cool. Not cool at
all. I hate it when he travels. Not because I’m having to be a Single Parent
for three weeks at a time (which is a freakin’ HARD job, my hat is off to all
my single parent friends … I could barely cut it for three weeks. I have utmost respect for those of you who
are doing it, day in and day out, month after month after month … I truly
admire you); my kids are grown (~sigh~) and it’s just me and the dog. I just get awfully lonely when he’s
gone. It’s hard not seeing him every
evening and sharing the little bits about our day. I realize all the things he does that I don’t
even appreciate until he’s not here to do them.
He walks the dog, he waters the plants, he takes the trash out … when he’s
not here, the plants get brown and droopy, the dog is left to fend for her own
exercise (thank you, squirrels, for giving her SOME exercise) and, eww, I have
to take the trash out.
And we’re not even going to discuss the dead-bug-removal
situation.
The first few days he’s gone, it’s not too awful. I can set the air conditioner on whatever
temperature I think is comfortable, I can cook the foods he doesn’t like
(Italian food! Who doesn’t like Italian
food? What kind of lunatic doesn’t like lasagna?)
and I can watch whatever I want on TV.
But the novelty of that wears off quickly. Then, about day 3, it suddenly hits me. This isn’t fun. This is just lonely.
Today is Day 1. I am
showered and dressed, and cooked a meal.
Things are still OK; things will be OK for me for the next few
days. By this weekend, tho, it may be a
different story. I don’t do *alone*
well. I need people in my life, I need
interaction, I need communication and I need conversation.
I need the next three weeks to fly by so that my plants will
get watered, my dog will get walked and the garbage gets taken out by someone
OTHER than me.
And I need my honey home.
It’s gonna be a long, long three weeks.
I can guarantee at least one day where you'll get lots of hugs.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll be there! :)
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