New Year's Day

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Ah, January 1st ... so shiny, so new, so full of promise and hope!  How many people woke up today and thought, "This is it!  This is the year I'm going to (fill in the blank ...)"  For me, that blank seems to remain stubbornly the same year after year after year.  I'm still going to lose weight, exercise more, be more loving and kind to my familly, be more generous and giving to my friends, take care of my health, get my finances in order, clean that closet, organize my kitchen, pray every day, take every Bible Study my church offers, journal daily ... etc.

And by February (and that's being generous!) I've broken every single one of those "resolutions".  

Tough way to face a new year, by being a failure and a quitter when you're only 1/12th of the way into the year.

Many, many years ago, I quit making New Year's Resolutions.  I felt pretty self-righteous about that; now I can't fail because I've set no goals.  But my mind still wanders to "But it's a new year and ..." 

This past week, I've been giving a lot of thought to two big burdens on my heart; one is personal and one is for loved ones.  Both are situations that I, in my mere mortalness, cannot "fix".  The personal one, my husband and I have spent at least 5 years trying to "fix" and, to be honest, we are no closer to the solution than we were 5 years ago.  The other situation is between members of my extended family; there is NOTHING I can say or do to "fix" it, they need to -- on their own -- come to see the need for change.  

Both of these situations are weighing heavily on my heart and on my soul and both are situations that I cannot do anything about.  It's not a case of willpower or motivation or desire on my part.  I want ... NEED ... these two situations to be resolved.  

So my "resolution" for 2015 is to be deliberate and intentional and specific in my prayer life for these two requests.  

I'll be honest; I've not really prayed about either situation.  The personal one, I feel like we got ourselves INTO this situation and we need to get ourselves OUT of this situation (I know, I know ... feel free to roll your eyes, I've rolled my own at myself enough times) and the family situation, I've not really prayed about because I sort of have picked sides myself and I find myself getting angry with the party I see as "in the wrong".  

I'm not really sure how to even pray about these two situations; but I also know I can't "fix" either on my own.  

So that's my goal for 2015:  to be deliberate and intentional and specific in my prayer life this year concerning these two situations.  I don't know how God will answer, but I trust He will.  I also hope I have my heart open enough that I can hear Him when He answers.